Monday, November 14, 2011

Overwhelmed By Grace

By Shawneda Marks
        

The housing crash in 2008 afforded me a new level of understanding of God’s grace. My husband and I decided to let go of the things we acquired but could no longer afford. On the outside I tried to portray a pillar of strength. Inside I was in turmoil.

How had this happened? I consistently tithed and gave offering. When and however I could, I served in God’s house. Between caring for our 1-year-old daughter and dealing with all of the stresses that stemmed from our financial crisis, things moved so fast I didn’t have time to process it all. No fast, prayer, or scripture changed the way I felt. I was emotionally, spiritually and financially bankrupt!

I searched online for an extended stay hotel in as safe an area as possible. With each click of the keyboard, I fought back frustration and tears. Childhood feelings of neglect, abandonment and disappointment tried to overtake me. I’d seen God perform miracles. Deep down in my spirit I knew nothing was impossible for Him, but my heart couldn’t make sense of it or see a positive end to things.

A family friend called after my husband and I prayed about what to do and where we should go. He and his wife offered for us to live with them. God provided a temporary job assignment that allowed me to care for my daughter and a nearby daycare. God still made a way for my HIV awareness novel “It’s in My Blood” to be released December 2009.

In less than six months God blessed us with a place to live on our own. There were some misrepresentations and challenges by the leasing office but we trusted God. He enabled us to stay positive and thankful through them all. The conditions left us no choice but to move again. We prayed and God led us to a place that seemed prepared just for us.

God’s grace in my life overwhelmed and humbled me. Even when I questioned everything, God continued to love me, live inside of me, and use me. Instead of growing apart, our struggle drew my husband and me together. In spite of the hardships and struggles through the circumstances, I didn’t run away from my relationship with God. I never turned my back on my faith.

God opened doors, provided for every need, and gave favor in the middle of the storm. When I looked up and the storm was over, I knew I didn’t deserve any of it. I only made it through by His grace.

Scripture Of The Day: "And the grace (unmerited favor and blessing) of our Lord [actually] flowed out superabundantly and beyond measure for me, accompanied by faith and love that are [to be realized] in Christ Jesus." - 1 Timothy 1:14 (AMP)

Shawneda Marks, awareness author, penned the award-nominated inspirational HIV awareness novel It’s In My Blood, and the women’s devotional for empowering emotional healing, Diamond Butterfly. Learn more about her passion to empower healthier living at http://www.shawneda.com.

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